Shakespeare has always been that enriching and knowledgeable part of everyone’s youth. His works can be confusing as hell, at times. Come on everyone would admit to this but everyone would also give the nod to the fact that he has been really sarcastic in his works. The phrases that he used never fail to amuse us. The burns that his comments give are too hot to put ice on. And they are effective even more than swearing. Let us have a look at them.
“A fusty nut with no Kernel”
A perfect way to call someone an idiot. You insult the person and the person doesn’t figure it out. How awesome is that! This phrase is from “Troilus and Cressida”, Act 2, Scene 1.
“Villain, I have done thy Mother.”
Shakespeare said it before it was cool. He is clearly the inventor of ‘Yo Mama’ jokes! There is something about Yo mama jokes. They hit you right where they should.
“Thou art a boil, a plague sore.”
This is a meethi chhuri type of an insult! Short but packs a really hard punch. Frankly who wants to be called a plague sore! Not me. It’s from King Lear – Act II, Scene ii.
“The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril.”
Instead of telling someone,” you stink” throw at them this phrase and watch them struggling to understand this. This is from It’s from The Merry Wives of Windsor – Act III, Scene v.
“Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon.”
Imagine not being worthy enough even for someone to spit on you. Yeah! That is gonna be very difficult to get over. It’s from Timon of Athens – Act IV, Scene iii.
“Away, you three-inch fool!”
This can be hit as a direct jibe to a man’s manhood. Would burn him to death. No one can take such harsh hits to the balls (No pun intended). It’s from The Taming of the Shrew – Act III, Scene iii. Shakespeare definitely knows the weak spots.
“I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.”
Oooooh Burn! This self explanatory insult clearly means that you are so dirty that I would infect my hands if I raise them to beat you up. That is so effing rude but insane! I bow to the sarcastic Lord. Lord Shakespeare. It’s from Timon of Athens – Act IV, Scene iii.
“Peace, Ye fat guts”
This jibe hits hard when you hit the insecurities at the right place. This definitely works better than calling someone a fatass!! There is something about the word Peace that makes it even more sassy. This is spoken by Henry IV Part, 1.2.2.
“You bull’s pizzle”
Dayummmmm!! If that is not fire, I dunno what is!!! Calling someone a bull’s dick is more insulting than calling someone…Well, anything. This surely tops the list of sassy insults. Henry IV Part 1.2.4 is the source of this very creative jibe.
“Poisonous bunch-backed toad!”
Imagine being called not only a toad but a deformed toad. What can hurt more than this?? This insult is from Richard III – Act I, Scene iii.
Kudos to Sir Shakespeare to teach us guys these ultimate insults we can use without actually swearing. Careful, the people we don’t like much!! We are ready for you guys.
Tell us which one of these insults is your favorite, in the comment section below.